1 of many convo's we've had.
Father Daughter Talk
1. People will always talk about you, no matter how much good you do. Someone will always have something to say.
2. There will always be someone who will lie on you.
3. You will always have problems with people because you keep it too real.
I’ve had many interesting conversations with my Dad about life with lots of advice and personal stories. He has always given me advice/life lessons my entire life, from the time I came out of my mother’s womb until the day he passed away. Depending on my age and my level of comprehension, my father has a way of repeating the same advice and stories over and over in ways where I could understand and as I got older the words are much more firm, real, authentic, and no beating behind the bush type of conversation. He always ended the conversation with, I love you. I love how he speaks with love and patience.
I certainly didn’t think too much into this when I was younger, but now that I’m older it’s like. DAAAMMMMMMMMMMMN GINA! In my Martin Lawrence voice
A few weeks ago, the Friend Zone Podcast did a segment on projecting. After listening to the show, a lot of situations and/or experiences made sense, so I started to do some research on it. The more I read about Projections the more I felt sorry for the individual that has projected negative thoughts and emotions on to me just so they won’t have to deal with their own dysfunction behavior and thoughts and emotions. They rather avoid dealing with them by relocating their feelings on others and sometimes will get others to do the same just to justify what they’re doing is ok, which forces them to avoid facing their demons.
The 3 Life lessons may not be something you’re use too hearing, you may not agree with them or may not even apply to you (if you feel this way), however, I believe this 100%.
Here is a clear example that my mother would say and I am sure you have herd of it.
If your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is accusing you of cheating, it’s because their doing it themselves. We get accused of stuff that is completely not in our character and so out the park that its horrendous.
I experienced many projections from others and even though it made me angry at that time, no lie. I would seek out revenge and curse them out, and say whatever mean and harsh words I could think of and say, and from that point on, their dead to me. As I got older I realized that I needed a different outlet, a different way to express myself. It’s a lie anyway and I don’t want to entertain someone’s else’s insecurities, but at times I would fight back and defend myself because my character was being damaged, which made things worse. Now that I am aware of my goal(s) and my health, it’s important to me to at least try to respond with compassion with firm loving words and boundaries. I’m not perfect, at times I do fall off after being tested so many damn times. I may curse, but I’m not cursing at them.
I tried my hardest to make this post short and sweet, so I hope I didn’t bore you. If you have experienced projection, please feel free to share your story in the comment section. I can honestly say that I have no more hard feelings, disgusting feelings or negative feelings towards the people who has placed their projections on to me. Now I have a better understanding for them and for myself.
“One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.”
Quoted by, Michelle Obama