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The notion of self-acceptance seemed quite foreign, albeit not completely impossible to me when I was in my early years of elementary school. Being in an environment where nearly all students critiqued and judged one another, to the point where outright bullying was a norm, was undoubtedly the foundation of my lacking self-love. This is interesting, because to some degree, I did accept the way that it was: that this was the way that things were, that at eight or nine years old, I was happier dressing comfortably than in tighter and purposely provocative clothing, or that being kinder to people felt better to me than being cruel. But although I accepted that this was the way that I was and that I wouldn’t change myself for other people, I sometimes hated myself because of it.
Now take this and combine it with the regular wear and tear of growing up from child, to pre-adolescent, to teenager, all the way into the observant and (hopefully) relatively well-rounded twenty-something I am today. Throughout this journey, there have been all of the typical ups and downs, plus a few additional trials and triumphs added here and there; there were many times where I almost came to accept that I would never accept my life for all that it was, as-is. Despite a slight bravado of confidence in my secondary and later post-secondary education, I felt absolutely terrified about my future. Despite repeating time and time again to people that I had a flawless plan for what I wanted to achieve and how I would obtain it, I was positively clueless at so many times. Despite almost always plastering a smile across my face, I often felt very lost in the life that I was living. In all honesty, I still feel these things more often than I should in the present day.
There are still days when I sense that impeding weight of being "less than" creep up on me, threatening to make me feel like all of my personal successes and accomplishments are inadequate in the grand scheme of things. I often feel that I am a minute detail, a small speck in the greater picture. I find it best to attempt stepping back and re-evaluating everything for as it truly is (which I am very often able to do, thankfully), but there are still times when I cannot help but wonder, Is it possible for me to have done more in less time? Should I be far more ahead than I currently am? Am I good enough right now?
Though in hindsight, when you’re in a clear state of mind where everything is going well and you are free from that self-doubt, you can confidently declare, "I’m doing amazing! I can do anything!", this is something we must practice for those days when we do not feel so enthusiastic.
Remember that you are 100% on track, even when it might seem like you are not. I firmly believe that we are always in the right place at the right time and moving forward at a pace that is best for us in a given situation. Nothing we do or experience is a mistake; we must take the bad with the good and consider everything a learning experience that we can grow from, not allow ourselves to be hindered by.
Sending love to everyone today and always.
EMILY FATA – www.EmulatingEmily.com
Instagram:http://www.instagram.com/emilyfata AND http://www.instagram.com/wanderousaffair
Dear Past Me,
All I care about is how I look or how I appear to other people, turns out people want me to change. They don't like me for who I am and I get made to feel pretty shitty.
But who knew a couple of years from today I'd be accepting myself for my quirks. I'm weird? so what?! I may not be perfect but that's who I am.
I don't have perfect legs and I sure as hell don't have perfect blonde hair. But somehow I'm me.
At the age of twenty you'll look in the mirror and feel happy, forgetting everything that anyone has ever said to you. You may not have the perfect figure, or have that body guys think is to die for but you'll be happy, that's what matters. You'll accept yourself for who you are.
In ten years you'll regret ever doubting yourself. You'll have amazing friends who are just as weird as you, even sharing the same quirks! Weird right?!
Just remember each time you doubt yourself, read this letter and remember you are beautiful inside and out and not you or anyone else can stand in your way.
Lots of love, past me xx
Growing up I had a good childhood, I grew with both parents in the household, attend great schools, lived in a nice neighborhood, always had food and clothing. Both parents always worked. My mother worked at the same job for over 40 years and my father worked many jobs. He could always find a job rather its temporary or permanent. I remember one day I came home from and my dad was home. My dad told me that he had quit his job because his manager disrespected him. Therefore, my dad gave him the BUSINESS and quit and found another job the following week.
You might be thinking, this has nothing to do with Accepting Yourself. But, I needed to provide you with a mini background and it will tie in to my post.
Both parents were very totally different. I mean night and day. But that’s just how me and my husband is. Very different, hot and cold. Both parents were very strong (mentally and physically), outspoken, confident, and accepted themselves.
I learned a lot from my parents, but as I get older I see a lot of their good traits in me. But what I love about my parents is how they treated themselves, how they reacted towards “some” situations, how they handled certain situations, who they hung around with, how they treated themselves with gifts, and how they managed to stay true themselves.
I believe we are or at least I know and can admit that I am my worst critic. I use to talk shit about myself, I am extra hard on myself, and at one point I didn’t treat myself the nicest. I use to have really bad anxiety and anger issues (from keeping things inside and not expressing them) So…..That defiantly added a lot of stress and negative thoughts.
I’ve come a long way, I have more work to do but I have some helpful tips with some fun activities that can help you with accepting yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Now let me add this important message. Just because I’m more calm and relaxed, I don’t allow people to talk to me in any way, shape or form. Just because I hold/tame my tongue does not mean I am a punk, scared, or a door matt. People often get that confused. And another thing, just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I let everything slide.
The topic Self- Acceptance was motivated by an individual who provided me with some great feedback about my Introduction YouTube Channel. I was really grateful, but some words or statement triggered something in my soul, not in a bad way, but it reminded me of somethings that I went through. No matter what there will always be people out in the world that will disapprove or dislike how you look, live, talk, dress, smile, laugh, eat…. Must I go on? I think you get the point.
This is no shade at all.
I can take criticism when its spoken out of love to help me do better, which this is what I believe the feedback was. However, I am who I am and I accept who I am. I curse every now and then.
The reality is that when you ask for advice or opinion of others, it’s up to you to take it. Now mentioning that I should not curse because it can decrease my chances in sponsorship or collaboration, is probably true. However, I will not code switch on my blog or on my channel. Period! If you’re not familiar with code switching, please Google it or if you want me to talk about it. Let me know and I’ll be happy to post it.
I like Cardi B for who she is. She never pretends to be someone else. She went from being a stripper to realty star and now she has appeared on VH1 popular T.V show Being Mary Jane. Talking about breaking barriers and making changes. She is known for being loud and ratchet and being brutally honest in a very vulgar way.
AAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNND, I love it.
Be Yourself: You will never be happy by pretending to be someone else.
Control Yourself: this means your eyes and looks. Sometimes your face can say a lot or if your someone like me who reacts and speaks immediately. Control your tongue. Think first and analysis.
Forgive Yourself: No one is perfect and don’t try to because your setting yourself up for failure.
Love Yourself: We’ve all heard the quote, you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself. That’s true. Just think about it. When you love something, you take good care of it. If you’re having problems with loving yourself try some to of the activities that I’ll list below and you might want to think about talking to a therapist. I do and I think everyone should. It helps.
Trevor Noah! Who is he? Beside fine as hell. Just sayen. The first time I saw Trevor was on television doing standup comedy on Comedy Central. I thought he was HELLA funny and the topics that he was joking about were on politics, his upbringing in South Africa, and his outlook on America whiling living here in the U.S. It’s hard to make me laugh when joking about politics and race, but he did such a great job that my cheekbones were hurting. Especially since he was speaking the truth. If you haven’t watched any of his standup’s or t.v shows, please look him up on YouTube. I want you to get a clear understanding of who he is and why I have him listed as one of my Influential Black person in today’s world.
Trevor Noah was born on February 20, 1984 in South Africa. His mother is Black (African American) and his father is White (European). At that time, it was illegal to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Therefore, Noah’s parents carried on by having a secret relationship. His mother had to pretend to be his babysitter and while walking in the streets his father had to walk on the opposite side of the side walk.
I would like to share some information about Trevor. Trevor has his own show called, The Daily Show, he interviewed President Barack Obama, and has had his own comedy special on Showtime. Trevor does not hold back; he speaks his mind. He has done great things and I hope you pay more attention to him and support him in any way you can. I listed him as an Influencer, because he’s what I call, the “today” or the “new” and what I mean by that is…We need more people like him who can speak to us and to the younger generation in a way that we/younger people can understand. Yes! I’m grateful for MLK, Malcom, Ali, Rosa Parks, Black Panthers, and other Black influencers who spoke out about race and politics. However, I feel that we need to keep going and speak out on issues that are not serving us (African Americans) any good and being treated unfairly. He’s a fresh voice and catches your attention with humor and that is a BIG plus for me.
Hope you enjoyed reading my 1st Black influencer. Please look up Trevor Noah and watch his comedy clips and t.v shows.
Yes! I’m excited. I love February, yes it’s the shortest month of the year, but it’s still a month that we get to celebrate our culture, our blackness, our strength, and creativity. Expose all the great inventors, educators, activist, entertainers, sports players, and more. Recognizing and giving recognition to those who has worked so hard to make a change and has made changes for people like myself is something that I feel we should acknowledge and often talk about in schools.
To be the only race to have a whole month of celebrating the beauty of blackness it astonishing.
Every Friday, for the month of February I’ll be posting “my” 5 most Black Influencers.
Thank you for visiting my site and please free to comment and tell me your Black influencers and why.